Category: Writers Block
For A Little Boy Named Christian: A Surprise For The Studious Little Male Witch
Once upon a time there was a young boy by the name of Christian. He was a
particularly young and bright individual. Many things made him particular too!
Oh yes, for one he possessed magic, but that wasn’t the thing that made him so
special, rather there was many young males that did, but he was known to all
as a witch. He also had a trade as a workman,and at that he did exceedingly
well at. He was known to sport a colorfully tall witches hat, a festively full
workbelt, and whenever he could find the occasion, he would ride his trusty
sleak long mahogany broomstick. From morning till nearing bedtime, He
pounded rapidly at nails on strips of metal making merry jangling music,
polished things till they shone brighter than the smiling sun, carved on the most
finest wood with the utmost concentration and strategy (and I promise bright
little Christian always had some type of interesting strategy about his work),
and many other things with the tools steadfastly hanging off of his workbelt.
On this particularly chilli Christmas Christian had woken up at four in the
morning and was insistently carving steadily and fiercely with his small shiny
carving knife, which with the utmost brightness reflected the strong merry sun
who was singing “ho ho ho,” this morning to pitch in to celebrate the joy and
happiness of the day. Most didn’t work on holidays,however Christian
sometimes did. This was because sometimes he forgot that it was a holiday
being particularly full of wonderful strategies, sometimes he would not seem to
mind, and yet at others he would have a special commission. For example, the
night before, Christmas Eve, he finished a commission from Santa. It was to
carve about a hundred names in to a hundred little trees, that would be given to
poor children, in a single neighborhood, where little Christmas trees were the
rage. How he knew Santa and how he came upon this job was unknown,
because most of the presents were made at the North pole.
“Christian? Now where are you off to this morning,” a woman with a brilliant
charming voice called out, from a window, in the little house next to the shed. It
was plain and rectangular, but it had nice brown and white shingles and a neatly
shaped ivory roof.
Christian took his little hand off of the blue handle of his carving knife which
“was stuck in a dark brown piece of polished wood, and waved rapidly, shouting
“right here Mama!!!! right here!!!!” He jumped up and down frantically, his little
pudgy frame bouncing happily, little sweat drops soon came and rolled down his
face. Little Christian laughed happily. In the very distance a woman begin to stir
in bed, waking up early in the morning.
After a few minutes, the woman again called out of the window ,“Well,
Christian, whereever you are, there’s presents don’t you want to open them?”
Christian ran out of the shed as quickly as a bolt of Lightning, all else forgottne.
The block of wood with the carving knife in it, upset, a few of his tools were
trampled over as he ran out of the shed. A few of his tools slipped out from his
belt from the impact of the bolting. Half his workbelt was empty as he finally
reached the house, speedily sstepped up on to the front porch and wrenched
open the door. He ran immediately in to his room, somehow knowing that his
presents were in there!
Finally in the midst of his room, he stood back to survey his lodgings. A
roomful of presents, a childs dream! At least a hundred shining boxes in slick
rapping paper in the brightest Christmas colors shown brightly under the sun.
Little colorful and ornate tags or cards read from some familiar name to
Christian. Then, There were certain boxes where it was labeled from Santa to
Christian. He grined widely so happily showing all his teeth, so widely in fact it
was almost a surprise that his face didn’t split right in half. He spread his arms
as if to embrace the piles of presents surrounding him. With that he woke up
from his sleep in which he dreamt that beautiful, joyous, fantastic, and
wonderful dream he had.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS CHRISTIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lame.
This was a terrible read. You need to check your spelling, plus, the plot was as boring as any picture book.
If you want to become a serious writer, you have a lot of work ahead. I advise you to read The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr, and On Writing by Stephen King. Also, the rewrite process is your friend, I strongly urge you to do that. Your writings are quite poor at the moment. My last advice, please, oh please use a spell checker, and edit your work if you want the public to see it.
Work on your sentence subject agreement and continuance. Like, saying "that
was not what made him special, rather there were several young males who
did." What you meant was that many young men had magic, what you said was
that many young males made him special. Its a basic mistake.